Review - Breakout Bar

Brand:  Breakout Bar  

Flavor:  Oat Batter Baby

Where to get it: here @ mybreakoutbar.com

                I saved this bar. I looked at it often, and then put it back in the drawer. I thought of the day I would eat it, and how much money it was going to cost me to have to purchase case upon case of this bar that I was so certain I wouldn’t be able to get enough of.

                The day came. I was going to EAT. THIS. BAR.

               

                A primal roar escaped my mouth – “THIS. IS BAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAA!”

                Oats and batter, two of my favorite things. Oatmeal, oat bars, oat cereal, oatmeal cookies…cake batter, brownie batter, cookie batter, pancake batter…it was all going to come together for me in a socially-acceptable snack! You know, because bringing a tiny container of raw cake batter with you to work in your lunch is apparently weird. Haters. Anyway…

                Dreams, shattered.

                Hopes, dashed.

                Face, contorted.

                The juxtaposition of the name on this bar, and what it actually tastes like makes me want to Sharpie some genitalia onto the face of whoever came up with the name. HORRIBLE. Not oat-y, and certainly nothing resembling in taste or texture of “batter”. The chocolate on the bottom of the bar is atrocious, and it was so “chewy” that TMJ was a real potential side effect here.

Additionally, their site touts their macros and nutrition, but doesn’t list any ingredients or nutritional information. Come on guys…give me something nice to say here…

               

Tastes like:  Dark chocolate and cement

Taste rating:  0/10

What’s in it:     

Ingredients:  (I am having to type these, for f*ck’s sake) Whey Protein Isolate, Prebiotic Fiber, Organic Oats, Raw Honey, Organic Quinoa, Organic Buckwheat Groats, Organic Amaranth, Peanut Butter, Oat Flour, Dark Chocolate (Malitol, Cocoa Mass, Cocoa Butter, Inulin, Soy Lecithin, Natural Vanilla, Cinnamon), Organic Puffed Millet, Water 

Review - Righteously Raw Brownie Mouthful

Brand:  Righteously Raw

Flavor:  Brownie Mouthful

Where to get it: here @ RighteouslyRaw.com

                I was surprised by this little treat, I was expecting something like a little smooshed-together blob or really dense brownie-type situation. What this really is, is an individually wrapped dark chocolate truffle, plain and simple. There’s a harder dark chocolate shell, softer chocolate ganache filling. If you love dark chocolate, you will love this, absolutely. I can’t help but think that this would be the perfect snack to unwind with on a Friday night, with a glass of red wine…even before dinner. You only live once, right?

               

Tastes like:  Dark, dark chocolate

Taste rating:  8/10

Qualities:  Kosher, vegetarian, vegan, Gluten free, Non-GMO, organic, raw

What’s in it:

Review - Greens Plus Protein Bar

Brand:  Greens Plus Bar

Flavor:  Chocolate

Where to get it: here @ GreensPlus.com

                 Do you like dark chocolate? Most people do, but what most people don’t know is that this bar tastes exactly like a bar of dark chocolate. Sure, the texture is a bit different than that log of Ghirardelli that you’re slobbering all over, but the flavor is nearly just the same. Swap that for this and get yourself 15g of protein in the process. You’re going to enjoy it, I promise. Red wine and a protein bar is the new black.

               

Tastes like:  Dark chocolate, straight up

Taste rating:  7/10

Qualities:  Gluten-free, Non-GMO

What’s in it: 

Review - Morning Sunshine Kitchen Cookies

Brand:  Morning Sunshine Kitchen

Flavor:  Dark Chocolate & Fix

Where to get it: here @ MorningSunshineKitchen.com

                 There is A LOT going on with this cookie. In fact, I think that there are probably more mix-ins than actually cookie substance. It’s cookie-shaped, but as soon as you take a bite, it crumbles quite a bit, and ends up a lot like trail mix. It is tasty though, but if you’re in the mood for a cookie, you might not be too stoked to find yourself tucking in to a pile of seeds and raisins along with it. The nutrition is also a pretty heavy hitter, this is more of a meal cookie than a treat – 269 calories & 14g of fat, don’t take this little mound lightly.

               

Tastes like:  Crumbly cookies with trail mix in them

Taste rating:  6/10

Qualities:  Gluten free, vegetarian, vegan, all natural

What’s in it:

Review - 22 Days Nut Butter Buddha

Brand:  22 Days Nutrition

Flavor:  Nut Butter Buddha

Where to get it: here @ VitaminShoppe.com (they are currently sold out on 22 Days' site, but here is that link in case they come back soon).

 Here piggy piggy piggy piggy….see that little guy up there? Yeah, the Piggy flying around in the sky above us? He’s pretty stoked, for a couple of different reasons. The first is because this delicious bar is vegan. The second is because someone has FINALLY nailed a “two-texture” bar. The outer chocolate coating is dark chocolate, smooth & firm. The inner coating is noticeably different –chewy, soft, an actual filling instead of just more of what the bar is wrapped in (the nut butter name is really accurate).           

      

It may seem strange that I’m this excited about a detail that most consumers probably don’t even think of once in their bar-eating lives, but right now I have about 25 bars that I have to review. When you’re faced with that kind of variety (and truly, everyone is…you make this choice every time you choose your bar at the store or online), sometimes it’s the extra little things that can make a bar really stand out.

PS – I also super love your packaging, 22 Days.

               

Tastes like:  Dark chocolate & almond butter  

Taste rating:  8/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, Organic, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free

What’s in it: 

Review: Pistol Whipped Pastry Gluten-Free Almond Chocolate Granola Bar

Brand:  Pistol Whipped Pastry

Flavor:  Gluten-Free Almond Chocolate Granola Bar

Where to get it: here @ Pistol Whipped Pastry

                What a tiny, delicious miracle this turned out to be! It’s oat-y, it’s sweet, it’s stinkin’ DELICIOUS. Small but mighty, this is unlike any granola bar that I have ever had. It’s pretty sticky, so I ate it poking out of its tiny wrapper. I was very surprised at how filling this bar was for its size, but you will not be disappointed. It reminded me more of a cookie than a granola bar, which tend to be harder and drier. The chocolate is more of an undertone, which suits me just fine. This looks to me to be a small company offering various concoctions depending on ingredient availability; I definitely recommend checking their website regularly to see what they’ve cooked up!

                 

               

Tastes like:  Sweet oaty heaven

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Gluten-free, Organic

What’s in it: (Unfortunately, I was unable to find any nutritional information on these. Please refer to header picture for ingredients on the packaging.)