Review - Come Ready Cake Batter Bar

Brand:  Come Ready

Flavor:  Cake Batter

Where to get it: here @ SupplementsGeeks.com

                What’s going on? Another bro-bar that I had to MAKE myself stop eating! I will try anything that has the word “cake” in it. Alcohol, snack bars, actual cake…it’s my kryptonite. I’m not sure how much like actual cake batter this bar tastes, but it does have a pleasant vanilla flavor, and I didn’t get that nasty sugar alcohol flavor one bit! The wrapper stresses that it has “NO aftertaste,” and I found this to actually be true. As always, be careful – the whole bar is 320 calories, so if you’re on a weight-loss workout plan, this is not a snack that you would want to eat casually. I would actually, miraculously, DEFINITELY buy this bar again.       

                 

               

Tastes like:  A sweet vanilla protein shake

Taste rating:  8/10

What’s in it:

Review - Cracked Nut Butter

Brand:  Cracked Nut Butter

Flavor:  Brownie Batter & White Chocolate Raspberry

Where to get it: here @ VitaCost.com or here @ CrackedNutButter.com (Different things are available on each site.)

                How many protein products have you had that claim to be “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough” or “Cake Batter”? I know I’ve tried scores. And how many have even come close to tasting like dough or batter? For me, pretty much none.

                Until now.

                Holy crap.

                This is happening.

                What we have here, is Cracked Nut Butter in raw confectionary flavors, spiked with protein. Actually, they have more grams of protein than sugar, but you’d never know it. The Brownie Batter seriously tastes like actual brownie batter. The little sucky pouches are DANGEROUS, because I find myself just mindlessly, joyfully sitting at my computer, sucking on them like they’re 70-calorie applesauce packs. They definitely aren’t that, but they really aren’t terribly nefarious, especially for how stinkin’ delicious they are.

               

                Great before working out, great after working out, great for a before-bedtime treat…these are just incredible.

               

Tastes like:  Batter and dough and %$!@*! heaven

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Gluten free

What’s in it:

Review - FitMiss Vanilla Chai Protein Shake

Brand:  FitMiss

Flavor:  Vanilla Chai Protein Shake

Where to get it: here @ FitMiss.com

                I’m always leery about trying a new protein powder, especially when it’s one that I’m going to review, because I always try to drink them “clean” – just powder and unsweetened almond milk. Even my favorite protein powder really benefits from some PB2 and Splenda most of the time, or at least a banana, but this one really doesn’t need anything added to it. I didn’t get a strong, spicy chai flavor from this, but it was still really tasty. It had a great, true vanilla taste, and at 90 calories and 3 grams of carbs, you can pretty much have one of these whenever you want, even a couple times a day. If your tummy is good with whey protein, FitMiss is definitely a great option.

               

Tastes like:  A sweet vanilla shake

Taste rating:  9/10

Qualities:  Gluten free

What’s in it:

Review - Energy Gummi Bears

Brand:  Energy Gummi Bears

Flavor:  Citrus

Where to get it: here @ Amazon.com

                Pre-workout in gummi bear form? Yes please! I am a person who needs pre-workout. Without something (pre-workout, juice, a fruit squeezy), I almost always have to slog through my workout in slo-mo, hating every minute of it. That’s no way to live. I popped these guys about 15 minutes before my workout, and no joke, they really helped, especially with the cardio portion of my workout, which is my least favorite. They look like typical gummi bears, but the taste is turbo sweet, probably to mask some of those wonderful “energy ingredients”. We all know how nasty those energy “shots” tend to taste, by comparison these are much, much better tasting.

                Additional fun fact: in what I consider to be a direct juxtaposition to the maniacal bear on the front of the package, there’s a little line of scripture on the back. I could not love this more.             

                 

               

Tastes like:  SWEET gummi bears

Taste rating:  7/10

Qualities:  Gluten free, Made in the USA

What’s in it:

Review - Fuel For Fire

Brand:  Fuel For Fire

Flavor:  Triple Berry

Where to get it:  here @ FuelForFire.com 

                This is the best pre-workout squeezer on the market, at least as far as the ones I have tried. Low calories, great taste, and loads of protein (10g!) make this product a staple for me on workout days. The texture is nice and smooth, so you can really pound one of these if you were so inclined…and I have been so inclined during a sugar dip in the middle of a workout. I recommend putting them in the fridge, they are really yummy cold. I have the other 3 flavors (Tropical, Sweet Potato Apple, and Banana Cocoa) on order right now. If you work out AT ALL in any manner, these will give you that initial burst of energy when you’re struggling to get into the zone, right before the endorphins kick in. I highly recommend them.         

Tastes like:  A thick, fruity pudding

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Gluten free, vegetarian

What’s in it:

Review - Mamma Chia Chia Squeeze

Brand:  Mama Chia

Flavor:  Blackberry Bliss

Where to get it: here @ MammaChia.com

                These are so dang good, they make me want to suck all of my food. I might never eat applesauce again, and I eat A LOT of applesauce. The chia seeds get nice and “al dente” hanging out in the pouch, and the blackberry flavor is so true to blackberries from the branch that I really don’t know what else to say. If you like blackberries, you will love these. I bought a case online and dumped them into a big, glorious, purple pile in the meat drawer of my fridge…because I do what I want!

                 

               

Tastes like:  Unsweetened blackberry jam

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, USDA Organic, vegetarian, vegan, Gluten-free, Kosher

What’s in it:

Review - Fruigees Nothing Beets Cherry

Brand:  Fruigees

Flavor:  Nothing Beets Cherry

Where to get it:  here @ Amazon.com

                Not everybody loves beets. I love beets. However, I love beets in an “on my salad” kind of way. Anytime I have had a juice that has had beets in it, it has had that unfortunate dirt-type flavor. But beets are a superfood, so the more beets you can get into your diet, the better. If you just can’t handle those damn dirty beets and their dirty dirt taste, try this Nothing Beets Cherry squeezer from Fruigees. This pouch is a delicious miracle of cherry wonder. So cherry, so delicious, I bought more of these online less than 5 minutes after I finished my first one. I like to chill them, and then have one right before working out. That fruit sugar really does the trick when I have a long bike ride & some Friends reruns ahead of me after work.              

                 

Tastes like:  Cherry sauce millionaire!

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, Organic, vegetarian, vegan, all natural

What’s in it:

Review - Dark Dog Energy Drink

Brand:  Dark Dog

Flavor:  Organic Energy Drink

Where to get it:  here @ Amazon.com 

                I was pretty excited to try this product. I am constantly in search of low-calorie, natural, taurine-free energy drinks. The packaging is dynamic, the name is cool, and all of the ingredients are derived from plants found in nature. Problem is…it tastes pretty bad. Unsweetened, carbonated prune juice is the closest thing that I could liken it to. I kept trying to drink it, thinking that perhaps it was an acquired taste – but I never even got close to liking it.      

                 

               

Tastes like:  Bitter prune juice

Taste rating:  2/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, Organic, vegetarian

What’s in it:

Review - Coco Libre Protein Coconut Water

Brand:  Coco Libre

Flavor:  Chocolate Protein Coconut Water

Where to get it: 

                Believe it or not, this was my first time trying coconut water in any form. I have friends who love it, and friends who hate it. After drinking this Coco Libre chocolate protein coconut water, I will definitely be trying more coconut water products. It tasted a lot like chocolate milk that had been watered down a bit, and I don’t mean that in a bad way (it sounds kind of gross). It was just less rich than traditional chocolate milk. I also found this to be a very satisfying 130 calories, and it had a minimal impact on my blood sugar since it has no added sugars. I can’t wait to try the vanilla flavor.             

                 

               

Tastes like:  Weakened Chocolate Milk

Taste rating:  8/10

Qualities:  Fair Trade Certified, vegetarian

What’s in it:

Review - Ratio Cake Batter Protein Bar

Brand:  Ratio

Flavor:  Cake Batter

Where to get it: here @ Bodybuilding.com

                                I like a lot of the nutritional value/qualities that this bar provides, but calling it “cake batter” just sets it up for a horrible, horrible failure. When I knew nothing about nutrition, nor cared what I put in my body, I would literally make a box of cake mix, and not cook it. That’s right – this is what rock bottom looks like:  a plastic container full of cake batter in your fridge. Yikes. So anyway…you could say I know a thing or two about cake batter, and this is not that. Titular argument aside, it doesn’t really taste very good anyway. So…I guess that’s where I leave you with this one.

                               

Tastes like:  Vanilla cereal, then bland protein powder

Taste rating:  3/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, Gluten free, All natural, Made in the USA

What’s in it:

Review - Ratio Peanut Butter Cup Protein Bar

Brand:  Ratio

Flavor:  Peanut Butter Cup

Where to get it: here @ Bodybuilding.com

                                Sometimes when I review a product, I eat the whole thing…but sometimes I only eat a bite or two. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m the weird kind of girl-creature who doesn’t really like chocolate. Unfortunately, chocolate and protein bars are pretty inseparable. As my civic duty placed upon me by no one at all, I figure that once in a while I need to try some mainstream flavors for the greater good of the internet.

                This bar actually wasn’t terrible, due almost exclusively to the layer of peanut butter substance across the top of the bar. I’m not sure what it really is, but it tastes like real peanut butter, and it’s stinkin’ delicious. I took one bite of the bar-proper, then shucked off the top layer with my favorite Santoku knife and gobbled it all up. This probably defeats the purpose, but I do what I want. And I’d actually do it again, in a pinch. It was really that good.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Real peanut butter and fake chocolate

Taste rating:  6/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, Gluten free, All natural, Made in the USA

What’s in it:

Review - Boxed Water is Better

Brand:  Boxed Water Is Better

Flavor:  Water!

Where to get it:  here @ Boxed Water (or your local grocery, if they're cool)

                It’s water. It tastes like water. It has nothing in it, as per the norm with water. Why am I writing a review about water? Because I can, and I want to, and I feel like you should know about this water. Firstly, it gets SO COLD because it’s in a carton and not plastic. (The little bit o’plastic in the spout and cap are BPA-free, in case you were wondering.) So there’s that. Secondly, the packaging is way cool, the marketing is way cool, and the message is way cool. I love this stuff, and I’m probably going to spend way too much money buying it. I don’t care; you can try to stop me. I’ll trip you and let the zombies have you. We used to be friends.

               

Tastes like:   The coldest water in all the land

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:   Vegan, vegetarian, Non-GMO, gluten-free, Kosher, Organic, all natural, Halal…it’s water you guys!

What’s in it: Water.

Review - Detour Smart Bars

Brand:  Detour Smart

Flavor:  Whole Grain Oatmeal

Where to get it: here @ Bodybuilding.com

                I bought this bar for the package. I cannot tell a lie. I love the packaging so much. But then, only 130 calories per bar? Okay! I have been legitimized and it feels so good! Smallish bars, good for a snack, and the calories are right on the money for a casual snack that you’re not going to agonize over if you’re trying to be strict with your diet. They also have 10g of protein, which legitimizes me even more. LEGITIMACY, RAIN DOWN UPON ME! They taste good, fruity, oaty, nice and safe in your mouth. You don’t always have to get crazy to be special.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Fruit and oats, oh yeah-oats!

Taste rating:  8/10

Qualities:  Gluten-free

What’s in it:

Positive Energy Rocks My Socks!

Brand:  Positive Energy

Flavor:  Various

Where to get it:  here @ Positive Energy

                Um, how cool is Positive Energy? They saw my review of their orange juice, and just couldn’t bear the thought of me not being able to try their other flavors, so they sent me a box of them! They also sent some stickers (which my person promptly stole and put on his snowboard), a magnetized + orange, and a page-long HANDWRITTEN LETTER. Color me impressed, I looked at all the words on the page and calculated that, in this day of banging on keyboards all day long, writing that much with A PEN would have seen me take about 17 breaks for hand cramps.  

                Apple juice is my favorite juice, so I went for that first. It was just as good as the orange juice. I put vodka in the cranberry juice as well as the strawberry lemonade. SO GOOD! The rest I drank sans alcohol, like a good girl. I love this line, and I love this company. They really care about their product and the press they get, and they clearly take the time to pay attention to social media – which I’m pretty sure is crucial to being successful in the 21^st century, no shock there. So thank you, THANK YOU, Positive Energy, for the treats, the care, and just for being generally awesome folks!

               

Tastes like:   Juice with a sizzle

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Gluten-free, Kosher, Non-GMO

What’s in it: (Orange Juice)

Review - Positive Energy Caffeinated Orange Juice

Brand:  Positive Energy

Flavor:  Caffeinated Orange Juice (!)

Where to get it: here @ Amazon.com

                WHY HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE?? I just want to bask in the glory of this genius-ness for a minute. I don’t like coffee. I’m like, the worst at being a Washingtonian. Full disclosure:  I usually drink a bottle of Diet Coke in the morning. Then I drink iced tea all day. But, juice with caffeine in it?? I feel like people would judge me a lot less if I had this in my hand at 7 am. Yes, I see your stares, Judgey McJudgersons. Anyway, this tastes mostly like any standard orange juice, but there’s a little bit of a burn. Kind of an after-burn situation, but it’s not unpleasant. I really see no reason to ever drink regular orange juice again. Does anyone have any vodka?

                 

               

Tastes like:  OJ & cayenne

Taste rating:  9/10

Qualities:   Gluten-free, Kosher, Non-GMO

What’s in it: