Brand: Breakout Bar
Flavor: Oat Batter Baby
Where to get it: here @ mybreakoutbar.com
I
saved this bar. I looked at it often, and then put it back in the drawer. I
thought of the day I would eat it, and how much money it was going to cost me
to have to purchase case upon case of this bar that I was so certain I wouldn’t
be able to get enough of.
The
day came. I was going to EAT. THIS. BAR.
A
primal roar escaped my mouth – “THIS. IS BAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Oats
and batter, two of my favorite things. Oatmeal, oat bars, oat cereal, oatmeal
cookies…cake batter, brownie batter, cookie batter, pancake batter…it was all
going to come together for me in a socially-acceptable snack! You know, because
bringing a tiny container of raw cake batter with you to work in your lunch is
apparently weird. Haters. Anyway…
Dreams,
shattered.
Hopes,
dashed.
Face,
contorted.
The
juxtaposition of the name on this bar, and what it actually tastes like makes
me want to Sharpie some genitalia onto the face of whoever came up with the name.
HORRIBLE. Not oat-y, and certainly nothing resembling in taste or texture of
“batter”. The chocolate on the bottom of the bar is atrocious, and it was so
“chewy” that TMJ was a real potential side effect here.
Additionally, their site touts
their macros and nutrition, but doesn’t list any ingredients or nutritional
information. Come on guys…give me something nice to say here…
Tastes like: Dark chocolate and cement
Taste rating: 0/10
What’s in it:
Ingredients: (I am
having to type these, for f*ck’s sake) Whey Protein Isolate, Prebiotic
Fiber, Organic Oats, Raw Honey, Organic Quinoa, Organic Buckwheat Groats,
Organic Amaranth, Peanut Butter, Oat Flour, Dark Chocolate (Malitol, Cocoa
Mass, Cocoa Butter, Inulin, Soy Lecithin, Natural Vanilla, Cinnamon), Organic
Puffed Millet, Water
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