Review - Bearded Brothers Bar

Brand:  Bearded Brothers

Flavor:  Radical Raspberry Lemon

Where to get it: here @ Beardedbros.com

                Compostable packaging! Great ingredients! Super fun logo! So obviously, when I took this ugly brown brick out of the wrapper, I was like, “Of course this is going to taste like butts,” but I was pleasantly surprised! It even smelled a little funky, but it tastes so fruity! I think I’d like it better if there was a little less of a lemon presence, but the raspberry is significant, and the longer you chew, the more of it you get. I even had the singular delight of leftover chia seeds stuck in my teeth, which I weirdly always love. Just 188 calories in this one, but lots of carbs, so eat this pre- or post-workout (or mid hike/bike) and your body will love you.

                 

               

Tastes like: 

Taste rating:  6/10

Qualities:  All natural, Gluten free, Vegetarian, Vegan, Non-GMO

What’s in it:

Review - Annies Cheddar Snack Mix

Brand:  Annie’s

Flavor:  Cheddar Snack Mix

Where to get it: here @ Amazon.com

                                This bag has bunny pretzels, blonde bunnies, and orange bunnies. I wish the whole bag was full of orange bunnies. I never eat food like this like you’re supposed to. I eat all the pretzels, then all the “this”, then all the “that”. I actually think that you can buy just the cheddar bunnies. I might have to look into that. Those buggers are GOOD. Way better than say, a Cheez-It. I love Annie’s packaging on pretty much everything they make. I love the marketing, I love that there are bunnies everywhere. And if you’re going to eat cheese crackers, they should at least be organic…because at the end of the day they’re still cheese crackers. We all need a break from protein once in a while though.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Salty pretzels and cheese crackers

Taste rating:  9/10

Qualities:  Certified Organic, no artificial ingredients, Made in the USA, Non-GMO

What’s in it:

Review - Kay's Naturals Protein Pretzels

Brand:  Kay’s Naturals

Flavor:  Cinnamon Toast Protein Pretzels

Where to get it: here @ KaysNaturals.com

                When I was in grade school we were often served this strange-looking blob of sticky rice with our lunches. As far as I could tell, it was just cinnamon, sugar, and rice, but I have been unsuccessful at recreating the concoction in my adulthood. Enter these protein pretzels from Kay’s Naturals, and BOOM! I’m right back to being a happy, porky 4^th grader. Now, obviously pretzels are not rice, but the flavor is so much the same that I absolutely squealed with glee, to the surprise of most of my coworkers. I didn’t even both to try to explain to them why a bag of seemingly ordinary pretzels was giving me such delight, I don’t think they’d get it.

                Oh and before I get too carried away (too late…), I should mention that if you want to eat pretzels, these are CRAZY full of protein – 12g in the 120 calorie-size bag. They only have 15g of carbs – I say “only” because they are PRETZELS and they have almost as many grams of protein as they do carbs. That’s pretty kickass.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Cinnamon sugar rice from the lunch lady

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Vegetarian, Kosher, Gluten free

What’s in it:

Review - Gnu Fiber Love Bars

Brand:  Gnu Foods

Flavor:  Fiber Love Bar (various)

Where to get it:  here @ NuGoFiber.com

                I keep eating little bars here and there, and they mostly all taste like date juice and sadness. These little dynamos from Gnu Foods taste like the flavor listed on the package. THE FLAVOR LISTED ON THE PACKAGE. What a novel concept! I also REALLY liked these little sample-sized bars that I got my hands on - I got to try both flavors for roughly the same amount of calories as one whole bar (140). They taste like cookies, but they have the texture of a bar, which I think is just perfect, dang it. I feel it’s safe to say that if you see these in the store, and there’s a flavor that speaks to you, you’re gonna love it, because it’s going to taste like you want it to taste. Hallelujah!  

                 

               

Tastes like: 

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, Kosher

What’s in it:

Review - Mamma Chia Chia Squeeze

Brand:  Mama Chia

Flavor:  Blackberry Bliss

Where to get it: here @ MammaChia.com

                These are so dang good, they make me want to suck all of my food. I might never eat applesauce again, and I eat A LOT of applesauce. The chia seeds get nice and “al dente” hanging out in the pouch, and the blackberry flavor is so true to blackberries from the branch that I really don’t know what else to say. If you like blackberries, you will love these. I bought a case online and dumped them into a big, glorious, purple pile in the meat drawer of my fridge…because I do what I want!

                 

               

Tastes like:  Unsweetened blackberry jam

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Non-GMO, USDA Organic, vegetarian, vegan, Gluten-free, Kosher

What’s in it:

Review - Susie's Smart Breakfast Cookie

Brand:  Susie’s Smart Breakfast Cookie

Flavor:  Gingered Apple

Where to get it: here @ SusiesSmarCookie.com

                These are called “breakfast” cookies for a reason – they have enough carbs, fat and calories in them to truly be your entire breakfast...and maybe then some. I’m not really a person who can just eat a compact little cookie and be good to go until lunchtime, but if you ARE one of those people, these are quite tasty. I didn’t taste a ton of apple, but I also didn’t taste a ton of ginger, which is really good. Ginger is a force to be reckoned with, and if it’s overdone, it ruins whatever you put it in. The oat is strong in this one, which is GREAT, but it doesn’t just taste like an oatmeal cookie. Texture-wise it wasn’t dry at all, and the ingredients aren’t scary at all. Worth a try.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Complicated oatmeal

Taste rating:  7/10

Qualities:  Kosher, Vegetarian

What’s in it:

Review - 6350 Natural Foods Raspberry strips

Brand:  6350 Natural Foods

Flavor:  Raspberry

Where to get it: here @ Amazon.com

                Apples, raspberries, sugar – that’s it. YUMMY. They are like little fruit strips, but they taste like sweet raspberry jam. They are about 100 times better than your favorite fruit strip, I guarantee it. I love that they are also studded with raspberry seeds, and why wouldn’t they be? They aren’t some over-processed, 25-ingredient Red 40 kid snack. I like these better than fresh raspberries. I like these better than chocolate raspberry torte. If you’ve ever seen the Friends episode where Monica makes a huge batch of jam, and Joey eats it right out of the jar - that is me with these strips. I like 6350’s raspberry strips as much as Joey Tribiani likes Monica’s jam. There is no higher compliment that can be given.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Delicious, sugary raspberry jam

Taste rating:  10/10

Qualities:  Vegetarian, Vegan, Kosher, Gluten free, all natural

What’s in it:

Review - VPX Zero Impact Peanut Butter & Jelly

Brand:  VPX Zero Impact

Flavor:  Peanut Butter & Jelly

Where to get it: here @ Amazon.com

                Here we have another terrible-tasting, 400-calorie bar bomb. The amount of these on the market blows my mind. Even if I was some huge guy who could eat 400-calorie bars because I’m in the gym every day, you know, going so hard, I feel like I could think of so many better-tasting, more fun ways to eat 400 calories. Shoot, you could eat 2 and-a-half packets of Peanut Butter & Co.’s The Bee’s Knees peanut butter for about the same amount of calories – just as quickly – so don’t give me the convenience excuse. I just don’t get it. Yuck.

                 

               

Tastes like:  Sod

Taste rating:  1/10

What’s in it: